emotionally present

How Emotionally Present Are You?!


In my previous post, I had written about my jealousy over my closest friend’s achievements. When I got to the bottom of my feelings, I realized that my feelings reflected my own dissatisfaction with my non-performing self. This got me thinking…

…about the people who do not feel jealous…

This comes as a shocker to me and maybe some of you, but yes, there is something called the absence of jealousy. And well, the same closest friend exhibits this absence. She is often surprised at her lack of emotions and blames it on her more rational mind.


…I read it differently. Oh, come on, humans are made of flesh and skin and higher intelligence and…emotions. Our personality is built through our strong and weak emotions. So, the absence of emotions must mean something more than the presence of the rational mind.

If the presence of jealousy signals inner dissatisfaction, then its absence would signal…satisfaction, of course. Does this mean that my friend is a highly satisfied spirit? Considering the fact that she is dabbling in everything from writing to teaching to operating a NGO, without exhibiting an iota of dissatisfaction over the fact that she is doing everything there is to do on the planet while focusing on nothing, we can safely conclude that she is an extremely satisfied personality.

But, but…

Think about it. It is the retired people who are always looking for different things to do, getting various ideas inside their head, dabbling in different stuff and being happy about doing all of it. Just like my friend whose greatest satisfaction always comes from a day that is filled with different activities to perform. While I, even after having a filled day, would experience a bloody heart-itch if I did not write something.

That is how our emotions or their absence thereof, is always a signal of something from within.

What else does the absence of emotions signal?

Obviously, every single one of our emotions is there for a reason, goading us into making a judgement that is good for us. Which automatically means that it is a crime to run away from them. And yet, in the name of not encouraging negativity, and in the quest for eternal happiness, what we are doing, is continuously running away from our emotions which are in fact, only moving us closer towards progress.

This brings us to the dreaded topic of – Think Positive

The problem with the think positive attitude is that it shoots right past the emotional gateways of the personality. Take for instance, the guy who has coded himself to only think good. Clearly, he is not thinking bad. And that is good, right? Wrong!

Why is it not wrong to think bad?

Simply because it is very normal to think bad. Also, since we cannot indulge in mind-reading, we are not defined by what we think. We are identified by what we do. While we might think of pushing someone who has been mean to us, we may not give in to our thoughts. Our identity is established by our ability to overcome a wrong thought and do a right deed. After all, the essence of humanity is doing, not thinking. Intelligence is the exhibition of our sixth sense, and not our sixth sense itself.

So, what happens to the Think Positivers?

Where do our emotions go when we do not acknowledge them? The answer is nowhere. Emotions that are pushed away are emotions in hiding. And everything in hiding must come out one day, like a dormant volcano waiting to erupt.

In the story of Beauty and the Beast, the Beast falls sick in Beauty’s absence. If Beauty had not made it on time to pay attention to Beast, he would have died. Our mind is Beauty, and our emotions are Beast. The lesser attention we pay to our Beast, the more it falls sick.


No, really!

Our emotions are the result of chemical reactions happening within our body. When we do not pay heed to these reactions, our body becomes host to a slow build of sorts – there is something bubbling within. And because we are so used to ignoring our emotions, we also do not develop the ability to read the signals of the body. That is how we become a dormant volcano, waiting to erupt.

It is suffice to say that unacknowledged emotions are a significant cause for various problems of the body and the mind.

All that said, there is the other side, when we tend to run away with our emotions. In this situation, we have two Beasts in the story, because Beauty, by running away with Beast, gives in to the Beast’s demands and may not be making the right decision for herself. The best way to sort out this story is to keep Beauty and the Beast as two separate entities, each functioning independently, albeit together.

In other words, emotional intelligence lies in our ability to acknowledge our emotions, judge our thoughts, and act out the right decision.

Here’s to acknowledging our inner beast and experiencing a fairy-tale ending!

Enough said about the presence and absence of emotions. In our next post, let us figure out how to practice emotional intelligence.


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